And just like that My baby Boy is here. Welcome to the world Noah. He came 1 week early on 10/23/21 at 12:13 AM.
His birth story is actually quite funny. I woke up and got ready for work as usual. I kind of felt off that morning. I woke up at 4 AM with light lower abdominal cramps. But thought it was something I ate. Well the cramps got worse as I got Into work. I was 30 minutes into my shift when I was like no, there is something wrong. So I headed down to labor and delivery triage. I was officially 2 cm dilated (about 2 days prior to that I was closed). So they admitted me and observed me. After about 4 hours I was still 2 cm. So they discharged me and said I could labor at home until my water broke. We were walking out to the car when my water literally broke. My husband grabbed a wheelchair from the ED and wheeled me back into the hospital.
I labored for about an hour maybe an hour and a half until I had enough and finally went for the epidural. That epidural was life changing. I actually got some sleep. I was in labor for about 8-9 hours before it came time to push. I pushed for about 20-30 minutes and next thing I know…NOAH was born! Everything else was really uncomplicated from there. He was born at 12:13 AM on 10/23/21 and we were discharged from the hospital on 10/24/21 at around noon.
Honestly tho I think that was the easy part. Being sleep deprived this far has been easy. Midnight feedings have been easy. We wake up every 2 hours to feed. I actually enjoy this. He is my first born son and I will never get these moments back. So I am trying to cherish them as much as I can and soak in as much time with him as I can.
The hardest part has been not feeling like I can be a good mom to him. Feeling like I am letting him down. In my eyes he is everything to me and so perfect. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to be chosen as his mom. With that said, how do I give him everything he needs and deserves. I struggle with feeling like I’m not there enough for him or that I can’t be there in the way he needs me to be there for him.
I just want every minute I can get with him. I could care less about being sleep deprived and tired all the time. I’ll never get to hold him the way I’m holding him now ever again. These moments are moments I cannot get back. If I could stop time for just a few hours I would.
On the flip side of that, it has been exciting watching him grow. He has grown a few Inches long already and I can tell he is starting to pack on some pounds. His cheeks are rounding out. Plus he is getting stronger with his head movements and legs. I just pray that I can do everything possible to raise a strong healthy boy.
With all of that said these next few years…we’ll actually the rest of my life will be forever changed and an ongoing story of trials and errors. So this blog may change in content as time goes on. Who knows what will happen. Until next time…